I'm back!

I am sorry for "falling off the wagon" of posting.  I'd like to say alot has happened but in reality, not really.

The short version is I tried just about everything to keep losing weight, having been stuck at 171 pounds, and was still off and on having problems with fatigue, weakness, etc. as a result.  I felt better when cycling carbs and eating more carbs.  But I still wasn't able to lose weight.  I kept exercising and being careful about what I ate. 

I have LOVED the weight lifting and how much better I feel as a result, but I really hated to weakness I felt, especially when I tried to go back to my previous low-carb Atkins eating.

After a vacation over Labor Day, and about a month after I stopped taking metformin on my own, I tried going back to 30 net carbs ala Atkins again.  OMG!  After three days, I felt absolutely awful.  I was so exhausted, I took a nap when I came home from work and barely had the strength and energy to do anything, especially work.  Once I added carbs back in again, I felt better, but it tooks me WEEKS to feel better again. 

So I went researching again and most things lead to potential thyroid and adrenal issues.  I had been seeing my endocrinologist but he really didn't help me much, only told me to continue my T4 (only medication) and up the dose slightly.  It helped some, but eating more carbs helped me feel better more.

In reading and researching, I found an online Yahoo Group for thyroid and shared my story.  I received good advice there including to find a new doctor that would address my thyroid and other hormone issues better and recommendations to take a "diet break".

So I have, for about 3 or more months now. 

I also made an appointment for a new doctor to look at my thyroid and other hormones. It took 2 months to get into see him on December 20th and he's doing ALOT of lab tests and I see him again in few weeks.

I have gained about 20 lbs back.  I haven't been eating junk, but trying to eat more carbs and calories than normal to stay around maintenance levels.  The result is feeling better, but not really happy about the weight gain, but if it heals my body in the long run, it's okay.

My endo also told me to go back on the metformin again, and I have, hoping perhaps I'll be able to more easily lose weight using it.  I'm not really sure I need it as I don't have any indcations of diabetes or insulin resistance, but perhaps being so very overweight for so long damaged my metabolism and it helps.

I go back to the new doc in a few weeks where I hope to get a few answers on what may be messed up with me hormonally. He suspected possible T3 and progesterone problems and possibly adrenal issues.  But we will see.

I'm not happy about going up in clothes sizes again, but most of the weight has been on the hips and belly so it's just pants.  I really want to lose this again but know I need to heal my body first.

My goal for the New Year is to figure out how to do this, healthy, and to get back to blogging, tracking my food better, and sharing my story and progress better.  I have learned so much, especially this year despite the lack of progress.

I promise to get back to things again.

How did I get fat? Part 1: Childhood through college

I wasn't a fat kid growing up.  I wasn't skinny either, but probably about average

I remember weighing around 115 in high school at about 5'.  I remember being about 121 in college where I grew another inch or two up to 5'2".  Then college was up and down in weight, gaining 20 lbs (hello pasta, pizza and all kinds of crappy eating!), losing it, then when I graduated, I was probably close to 160.

I grew up in a rural area.  We always had a garden and my mom cooked at home almost all the time.  During the summer, we had fresh vegetables.  For dinner, she would send one of us out to the garden to grab some green beans, corn, tomatoes or whatever else was ripe and we'd have it for dinner.  Late summer, she canned and froze much of it so we'd have good food for the long winter.  Still mom's cooking during my younger years was yummy from what I recall.  We very seldom had anything from a box or package but most things were made from scratch.  I learned to cook with my mom to an extent.

Somewhere along the way, my parents got into the whole losing weight fad (they weren't very overweight but Dad started having BP issues and Mom wanted to lose "the baby weight" etc. and went low fat/low calorie.  And us kids along with them.  Low calorie bread, snacks, sugar-free everything, counting calories and heaven forbid you eat something high in calories.  I was suddenly being watched for what I ate and questions raised anytime I ate or wanted to cook.  Thus began my really bad eating habits.  I would binge when I could, especially away from home, and sneak food when I could. 

Breakfast was often 4 pieces of (low calorie of course!) bread with margarine.  Or a bagel with fat-free cream cheese.   I could never figure out why I was so hungry not long after eating that.    Lunch, well, sorry Mom, I probably didn't eat as many of those lovingly packed lunches as you think and I ended up buying lunch at school often, especially on the days they had food I loved like pizza, sub sandwiches and french fries.  But dinner was at home, something low-fat no doubt and I'd be hungry.  My best friend and I figured out how to get access to the soda machine at school and buy diet Coke.  Thus began my Diet Coke addiction (hey, it was 0 calorie!).  Otherwise, I would get food elsewhere when I could and learned to binge with those foods.  (Little did I realize I was probably "starving" from the carb overload and lack of protein and fat).  I could sneak crackers and bread at home when I just couldn't hold out any more from the hunger.  My best friend and I, once we were able to drive, would go out for very terrible meals followed by ice cream then snacks at the movies.  

I think the biggest reason why I didn't get too overweight was my youth and my lack of access to more food.

When I hit college, I had access to that food.  3 meals in the cafeteria a day, all the pasta, bread (oh I was a bread addict), cereal, bagels, french fries, and more that I could get.  Not to mention pizza!  I don't think I went all out eating  as I was still "trying" to watch my calories, but little did I know that all those starchy foods were bad for me.  I gained weight, lost it when I went home for the summer, gained it again.  But I still had Diet Coke, all I could drink, all the time!  (What is this water thing?).

I honestly wonder what my life would be like health wise if I knew back then when I know now.  I wonder if I developed autoimmune disorders (thyroid, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis) because of wheat, that I instigaged my other health problems because of margarine and Diet Coke and other sugar-free products.  That I began setting myself up for insulin-resistance with all those carbs.

More in Part 2 and how I continued the carb-cycle/low-fat/low-calorie and binging.

I Can't Give THAT up!

It's funny when I talk to others about my "diet" and the responses I get about how I eat.

No bread?

No cookies?

No pasta?

No bagels?

No cereal???

And they dig in their heels that they don't think they can "suvive" if they don't have these things.

What about Coke or Mountain Dew?  Or these fiber bars, they are healthy right?  Pretzels?  Popcorn??  Chips?

I once thought the same way. 

And I realized how wrong I was.

These foods are not healthy for many of us, especially those very overweight, insulin resistant, with diabetes and signs of heart disease.  I believe these foods also contribute to auto-immune disorders and worsen conditions like GERD, indigestion, IBS and more.

Sorry folks.  If you find yourself saying "I can't give up X."  It's a sign that you may really may need to.  Your mind will cling to these foods, even if not healthy, because it feeds the serotonin in the brain and your brain knows it.

So don't give in to the brain here.  It will steer you wrong.

Do without these foods for a while.  You don''t have to go hard core low carb.  But do without for a few weeks, make sure you eat some decent protein and veggies, and I guarantee you will feel better.

Even on the low carb diet, I've found myself revisiting foods to see if I was holding onto foods that might be holding me back.  If it was on the Atkins Induction list, it was okay, but OWL foods and things like sweetener, soda made with sweetener, nuts, and more came on the chopping block and got cut.

And I no longer obsess about bread or pasta anymore.  I'd much rather have the great foods I can and be healthy.  And honestly, my tastes have chaneged so dramatically, when I taste these foods again, they no longer taste the same, very bland and unappetizing.

So if you find yourself thinking you can't give up something, give it up for a while and see what happens.  You might be surprised.

My Annual Cholesterol Screening

So I got my cholesterol tested this past week.  Like a good patient, I get this done annually, typically.

Here's this year's results (fasting):

Blood Pressure:  120/80 *
Glucose:  87
Triglycerides:  56
Total Cholesterol:  184
HDL:  61
LDL:  112

* I believe my diastolic is borderline due to mitral valve prolapse (yes, I do see a cardiologist for it).  Could also be due to hypothyroidism and/or still having about 30 or so pounds to a healthy BMI yet.  But it's always been high.   Systolic has improved as I've lost weight.

My numbers have typically been fairly decent, even at my heaviest weight.  The luck of genetics I think, but I bet they would have slowly gotten worse if I hadn't fixed my eating and weight issues when I did.  But HDL and Trigs have definitely improved tremendously since changing my eating.

My Triglycerides/HDL ratio is 0.905, which from what I'm reading is a better way to measure your cardiovascular risk.

So like most on a high fat/low carb gluten and wheat-free, sugar-free, junk-free, limited processed foods diet, my numbers are excellent.  And I eat a TON of fat (65-70% fo my daily intake, alot of it is saturated because I love beef).  I eat lots of veggies too, don't worry.  But definitely high fat, about 25% protein, about 1900-2100 calories a day.

I thought eating all this fat and calories were supposed to be bad for you, LOL!

Denial and facing your health and weight issues

Wikpedia description of denial is a pretty good way of describing the mechanism that most of us take when not addressing our health and weight issues.

I know I did it for many many years, decades even.  I knew I was gaining weight, not eating right, that I had a history of diabetes and heart disease in my family and I was going to end up the same way one day.   I kept trying to lose weight and eat better, but routinely failed, not only due to lack of willpower, but because it was hard, if not impossible, to stick to a weight loss plan where I was hungry and tired and miserable all the time.  I had been fed the line that I had to count calories, points, eat low fat, sugar-free, etc. for so long, since childhoo when my parents "dieted" that it was all I knew about how to lose weight.

But I was still in denial and it kept me from facing my problems.  I ignored mirrors, didn't even own a scale, hated going shopping for clothes and didn't pay much attention to how I dressed and what I looked like for the most part beyond the basics of brushing my hair and putting on a little makeup.  My bloodwork was always "okay" so I figured I wasn't that bad off, right?

Now, looking back, I see how I was denial about my health and weight problems.  I was coasting by barely, but kept gaining weight.   I was developing insulin resistance on top of my fibromalgia, arthritis and thyroid problems.  Fortunately, I was able to finally face myself, knowing I HAD to do something about my health before it became too late.  I didn't have all the answers to fix it but knew I needed to start somewhere, somehow.  I decided to try Atkins and do it right as my last resort (short of surgery) and thank goodness I did.  It saved my life and gave me hope.  Slowly I lost the weight and my health improved dramatically.

So today, when I deal with others, I see them denyying the same things I once did.  It's interesting when people notice your weight loss the variety of comments you get.  Lots of folks say they need to lose some weight themselves, or eat better, or haven't seen their doctors and gotten bloodwork done in a long time because they know the numbers aren't good.

But one of the biggest challenges to "getting started" to better health is facing your issues.  Stop denying you have a problem.  Look in the mirror, weigh yourself on a scale, take measurements with a measuring tape, see your doctor and get your blood work done and read your results.  And then these things, print them out and put them on your mirror or fridge or anywhere else where you cannot avoid them nd realize you need to do something about them.

Start today.

And how?  I can tell you that a High Fat, Low Carb diet is the best way to fix all of the above.  You can lose weight, get healthy, eat great and dramatically change things so you can look in the mirror and see a smaller, healthier you, have numbers that will make your doctor smile, and start living life again with lots of energy again just like when you were young.

I've done it.  You can too.

I'm here, I'm getting lean and I'm MAD

Welcome to my new blog.  I went searching out there for a cool blog name and sadly, alot of the ones I found on weight loss, getting skinny or thin, for motivating themselves to lose weight with a blog, etc. had been taken and many of them, long since abandoned by whoever created them in the first place.

There's a graveyard of abandoned blogs and forgotten efforts out there.

I have to wonder if these people ever succeeded in their weight loss. 
Anyway, I am here to tell you that I have lost the weight, I'm still working at it, and I intend to tell the world how I did it (without surgery) and see if I can save others from the same fate I was once heading for.

So instead of "losing the weight" or "countdown to thin" or something like that, my blog is from someone who HAS done it, most of the way at least.

As for being MAD, yes, I am very angry.  At the news media, doctors, medical community and government that had been feeding us the WRONG nutritional information for decades now.  For it resulted in me being overweight, hungry and miserable for so long.

Don't get me wrong.  I personally take some of the blame as well, but I thought I had to starve myself, count calories, cut out fat, exercise, count points, drink shakes, and whatever else I did to lose weight only to fail miserably every time and keep putting on more weight.

Thankfully, in 2004, I discovered Atkins.  And that I could eat high fat, low carb, eat great and lose weight.

And I did.  175 lbs down.  About 30 or so more to go.  My journey hasn't been perfect, but I've learned lots along the way.

And I'm here to tell my story, share news and research, and let you know you can still eat great and healthy and lose weight without surgery.

There is HOPE for those who want to lose weight.

Find me on twitter and stay tuned for more!